Halloween is one of my favorite holidays. What could be better than going door to door—in a costume no less— and asking total strangers to give you candy? What’s even wilder is that they actually give you candy! The 80s were my prime trick-or-treating years and I raked in the loot! I was very grateful for this cornucopia of treats, with very few “tricks,” which should be understood here to mean “candy that sucks a**.” (Don’t even get me started on the people who would hand out boxes of raisins.) Halloween was an especially sweet time because my mom strictly limited our sugar intake, which I now appreciate, but which at the time I found to be dragsville.
Every year, scattered among the treats haul of mini Hershey bars, Sweet Tarts, and Tootsie Rolls would be a few tricks. And that unwanted Halloween trick came in the form of these tooth-breaking, nasty-as-all-get-out, faux peanut-butter-flavored rocks. It’s like they were wearing their own Halloween costume. They were large pieces of gravel masquerading as Halloween candy. And they almost pull it off with their holiday-colored black and orange wrappings. I was only ever fooled once. In subsequent years, these nuggets of nastiness went untouched. I couldn’t even get my little sister to take them in the elaborate post-holiday candy trade.
Worst. Candy. Ever. The Mary Jane Peanut Butter Kiss by Necco
I turns out that these orange and black wrapped rocks have a proper name: Mary Jane Peanut Butter Kisses, made by Necco. If those things are kisses, they are the kisses of a creepy, middle-aged uncle who lives with his mom and isn’t allowed to have a computer with Internet access.
While I am certainly not alone in my belief that the Mary Jane Peanut Butter Kiss is the worst Halloween candy ever, a small, but vocal, minority of our readers on Facebook have weighed in on the side of the Peanut Butter kiss. Christina L. comments, “They’re in my candy dish right now – I love them!”
So, what say you? Worst candy ever? Vote below.
[yop_poll id=”4″]
October 10, 2014
I voted for the “peanut butter rocks” and “Smarties” would be a close #2 on my least favorite list.
It seems like every year there was a rumor that a dentist who lived in the neighborhood was giving out toothbrushes instead of candy but I never actually saw this happen. Perhaps, this was just a “Suburban Legend?”
October 10, 2014
The other story that would circulate was the razor-blades-in-apples scare. Remember that one?
October 10, 2014
I do remember that, too. I think I only got an apple once in my entire trick-or-treating career and promptly threw it away because I was afraid there was a razor inside.
October 2, 2015
I don’t think these Mary Jane Peanut Butter Kisses are the worst.
I give you that yea they stick and suck to your teeth and can pull out a filling…
but you have to be careful on how you suck on them.
I hate those soft circus peanut candys in a bag.
They make me what to barf.
October 30, 2014
HA! I just saw this post and guess what we have in our pumpkin shaped candy jar?? You guessed it: Mary Jane Peanut Butter Kisses! (I did NOT buy them, BTW!)
October 1, 2015
I once got a small plastic sandwhich bag filled with Lucky Charms cereal. Needless to say my mother threw it out, even though I really wanted to eat it.